For awhile, a letter has been circulating among Fuller’s administrators and faculty. Because of the sensitive nature of the document, meetings were called to discuss as to what to do with it.

Now it’s been published in Fuller’s student-run publication, The Semi.

The content of the letter revolves around retired provost Sherwood Lingenfelter and his daughter, Jennifer. Jennifer is a lesbian and a Christian. Sherwood is a loving father and a Christian.

Now you can read their unique takes on faith, family and sexuality.

From Jennifer:

While in grad school, I finally decided that I didn’t want to hide anymore. I either needed to step up my attempts to eradicate my homosexual leanings or see if homosexuality and Christianity were somehow compatible. I started going to a program that helped people “heal” and leave their homosexuality. For nine months on a weekly basis, I listened to leaders preach the word of God, sang worship songs, and had two-hour support groups to help keep me from being gay. I loved the groups, I enjoyed the intimacy, but I still felt the same.

I decided that I wanted to meet others who felt that being gay and being Christian were not mutually exclusive…

After much searching, I realized that I didn’t want to pretend anymore, and needed to be honest with all the people who were important to me. I began by coming out to a straight couple who are my closest friends. They both hugged me and said that they loved me just the way I was. Several months later, on the Wednesday before 9/11, I came out to my parents.  They modeled yet more of God’s love to me. As scared as I was, my parents responded in the most loving way possible. My mom told me later that, “we had been praying for a long time that God would provide you with a life partner; we never expected that it would be a woman, but if that is who God provided for you, then we will be happy for you.” Wow! That was not what I expected. A month later, they asked me to join them for a weekend in the mountains to talk with me, so that they could get to know this new side of me.

From Sherwood:

Initially, this was distressing and even disheartening news to me. This is not what I had imagined for my daughter, and yet it did not come as a complete surprise… How should we respond? Was it our fault? I could remember many times when I was clearly a failure as a father, and wondered how that might have contributed to this momentous decision by my daughter to become partner to another woman.

Our initial anxiety had to do with family and friends. What can we say? How will others view her and us? Should we hide this or declare it openly? How do we deal with this biblically and in our church and Fuller relationships? Was it possible that some kind of therapy or ministry could help Jennifer to become heterosexual? But as we thought about these questions, we concluded they were foolish. All our efforts in the past to help, encourage, and affirm heterosexual relationships had no effect. To try to “fix it” would only damage our relationship further…

Through all of this one thing emerged about which we were certain: Jennifer is and always has been our precious daughter. She is flesh of our flesh and bone of our bone and we have cherished her from the first day we held her in our arms…

The tension for me is summed up in my understanding of the book of Romans. From the time of my childhood I understood that there is no one righteous, not me nor anyone else (Romans 3:10-11). During my mature adult years, I came to understand the power of Paul’s statement in Romans 11:32, that God has given everyone over to disobedience so that he may have mercy on them all. I saw that people in my culture, and peoples in cultures that I have studied from around the world, have patterns of disobedience, patterns of rebellious relationships that defy the mercy and grace of God. At the same time, I have seen the mercy of God reach out to so many people in so many places; a healing touch to people in all kinds of brokenness. I also am convinced that when we give ourselves to Christ, that means presenting our bodies as living and holy sacrifices and that we should not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewing of our minds. These things have been a key part of my theology and my practice of acceptance of self and others as I seek to live and walk in the light of Christ at home and abroad…

Jennifer and Marta are our family and delightful friends. They are people with much love for us and for others around them. How do I deal with their lesbian relationship theologically? My dilemma is I cannot read the Bible altogether as Mel White does. While I agree with his analysis of the sins of Sodom (Ezekiel 16:49-50), I see contradictions in other texts that have not for me been resolved. Yet, whatever the “falling short of the glory of God” for Jennifer and Marta, my falling short was and is greater! Further, I am confident that in the grace of Christ, I and they, who embrace that grace, may stand forgiven in the presence of God—not because of anything that we have done, but because of Christ.

I continue to support Fuller’s community standards while at the same time cherishing the new opportunities we have to speak to each other lovingly and humbly about such matters. Jennifer and I are open to have conversations with students and others about our journey together as father and daughter. We also, as sojourners together in Christ, welcome conversations about how we might make the church a safer and welcoming place for those women and men who, like Jennifer, have from childhood struggled with same sex attraction in a world that condemns it.

Thanks to the Lingenfelters for their willingness to share their story.